QUICK DISCLAIMER: If you’re related to me or if you don’t like hearing about me and sex in conjunction I’d skip this one if I were you.

Before I tell you what I did last night (you’re already thinking sordid thoughts I know) I should give you a little background.
I am one of those feminists who don’t so much mind porn. Who enjoy sex and it’s various incarnations. Who find sex toys entertaining and amusing. Who think that stripping can not only be fairly lucrative but empowering as well.
I’m one of those.
I make very few judgments where sex is concerned, (my judgment however will come down like hellfire if I hear about any sort of sexual anything involving parties who didn’t implicitly say “this is ok by me” read: rape, molestation, beastiality, etc.) You say you’re gay? good times, me too (I believe it was my friend Marcos who began calling me “The Half Gay”, like: “oh yeah, I’m half gay, on my mother’s side”)! You say you’re a straight guy who likes a little ass play? hot. You say you’re a lady who likes to be tied up? Who doesn’t? 🙂
I was raised in a household where sex was thought of as a natural thing, it was discussed in a frank and open manner and very little stigma was attached to it. One of the most surprising aspects of my own sexuality is that I waited so long to come out to my parents (in my 20’s) who have shown through their affiliations and choices of friends to have no problem with bisexuality or homosexuality at all. I have experimented enough with sex and have talked with enough different people about it (sex industry workers, porn shop owners, ministers, strippers, friends, etc) to feel fairly knowledgeable about the act itself.
Long story made long: I have no beef with sex. I have minimal hangups about sex. (I have no libido generally, but that’s a whole other can of worms).I know about the sex. Hooray sex.

SO
it would come as no surprise to anyone who knows me to see me at Fascinations last night (not that I frequent it, but that I would be there at all). I’m sure the surprise would be voiced to see Luke with me, but hey! It’s a fun date to go the porn shop! To look at the silicon dicks and the expensive videos and the “Sexy Dorothy Gale” costume…Fun for all!
In a fit of boredom last night I suggested we visit the store and see what we could see, perhaps the new Suicide Girls DVD would be out. Maybe we could purchase some jokey Valentine’s Day presents for each other. So we got in the car and grabbed dinner first (we’re so romantic, “Pizza before porn darling?” “Oh yes!”) and talked politics, like we do. Then we drove over to the store on Elliot.
It was packed full of people. Which I found surprising. I’d been there on the weekend before and usually the store had a grand total of 10 folks browsing. Last night there must have been 40 or so people there. A lot of couples enjoying themselves, it was really heartening.
Luke and I did a slow circuit of the floor, noting the big poster for a Valentine’s Day promotion they had going : “Free Boudoir Photos! Here!” and “Be our next Model!” I can only assume the large amounts of folks was due to that.
I will state for the record that shopping at a porn store is not nearly so entertaining while you’re hugely pregnant as it is when you’re cute and skinny. The lingerie won’t fit you and you realize that your mere presence is driving up condom sales.It was salvaged by the presence of Luke who had only been to a porn store once or twice and is certainly the more…inhibited, let’s say…of the two of us. I reveled in showing him the crazy vibrators, the giant silicon cast of Ron Jeremy’s Johnson, and we enjoyed perusing the vast collection of adult films they had. We mostly steered clear of the lingerie because it made me feel so giant.
As we finished our second lap of the store we were approached by two women who plesantly informed us that the photography they were doing was free! And everyone got one free print to take home! And would I like to take some sexy photos for my guy there? I smiled at them and told them that boudoir photography of giant pregnant ladies is not so much hott as it is alarming. They just laughed and said that they took a lot of photos of pregnant ladies and they had time open.
Part of my head thought: Don’t even, huge one. Nobody wants to see that.
The other part thought: What the hell.
And so I went with them. And I had my picture taken (topless no less!) by a very nice husband and wife team, who complimented me a whole lot and took some really great shots of me and the belly. And even took a few of Luke and me together and gave us 2 free pictures, which was super nice and I think it was because Luke talked camera talk with them and I just whipped my shirt off without blinking. We were amusing.
After that adventure we decided to wrap up our visit. We went up to check out and we chatted about how busy it was, how nice the photographers were and our purchases. As we got up to the register I realized that it was a nice place, the customers were friendly and there was a lot of interesting things to look at…
SO what I guess this whole long story is saying is:
I applied for a part time job at Fascinations last night on a whim, but I think it would be fun to work there. So, if they call you, tell them I’m awesome and that I know about the sex.
And that just having me on the floor will drive up condom sales.

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